(War Stories) Money isn't everything, but... (November 2006)

No, money isn’t everything. Except when you’re trying to start up a new business.

Unfortunately, my money is in short supply. Most of what I’ve earned, I’ve spent on education. I have a love for learning, and, I must admit, expensive tastes in that regard. I also have no interest in owning “stuff”; a lifestyle of elegant poverty suits me quite happily. 

And then there’s the apartment in New Zealand, an ongoing albatross that hangs around my neck. An unusual investment move on my part. When I moved to New Zealand a few years ago to be closer to my kiwi girlfriend, an apartment seemed like a good investment. I was tired of paying rent into other people’s pocketbooks, and my job inside an international management consultancy was lucrative. It was time to become an investor.

Or so I thought. Actually, it was a terrible time to invest in the New Zealand housing market. The shelf of self-help psychology I consulted in the aftermath of my messy break-up with the kiwi girl helped me to understand that this particular investment was “motivated by own need to be convinced that I really wanted to be here [New Zealand], rather than any appreciation of investment potential.” 

(Oh, the poetry we can compose when we’re heart-broken!)

Rather than despair over my financial woes, I’ve resolved to turn this experience into a positive. (Anthony Robbins would be so proud.) I’m going to learn from this mistake and become much, much more savvy about where I put my money. Yes, sir. 

In search of inspiration, I googled ‘famous bankruptcies’, hoping to find evidence that, in fact, there is hope for me. Sure enough, I quickly stumbled across rentafterbankruptcy.com, an American site devoted to – aha! – chronicling the lives of “Famous People Who Filed Bankruptcy And Became Successful”. (Actually, I suspect it’s a site devoted to selling advertising space for bankruptcy advisors.) Myself, I’m not sure what it means to ‘become successful’ – I suppose it means to accomplish what you set out to do. But on this site, I think it simply means “people who went broke, then made a lot of money.”

Here’s their list:

1. Henry Ford – started two car companies – both went bust – before creating the successful Ford Motor Company. (I wonder what he called his previous two car companies.)

2. Henry Heinz – his condiment company went bust, but then he came up with ketchup. One has to wonder what his failed condiments tasted like. Mmm…fish oil. (Condiment, a funny-sounding word, comes from the Latin condire, which means to pickle.) 

3. Mark Twain – lost all his money investing in an invention called the Paige Compositor (an early typewriter), then made it back on the European lecture circuit. That sounds fun.

4. P.T. Barnum – failed in various ventures until starting up “The Greatest Show On Earth”. So, if all else fails, I can join the circus.

5. Donald Trump – who’s that? 

So, that’s comforting. In the history of American business, 5 people have recovered from bankruptcy to achieve subsequent financial success. And two of them were named Henry. 

Incidentally, no sign of European equivalents. I can only suppose that either (a) EU bankruptcy advisors aren’t as web-savvy as their American counterparts, or (b) there are no European equivalents. And I didn’t bother to survey Japan, since most of their bankruptcies end in ritual suicide. (Sorry, I should retract that last statement. It’s a bit too macabre to be amusing – even if it’s true.) 

But seriously, I’m pretty much starting from zero here, money-wise. That’s going to constrain my start-up options somewhat. I need to find a venture that requires little upfront investment – say, a new airline?